so...i wonder what it is like to have a relationship, like a real one, that a lot of people seem to have where you can look at each other and touch and giggle and kiss and make everyone sick...

i had a show last night and i ran into one of my favourite boys and some girl he knew who turned out to be ultra cool, so that was worthwhile in the long run, i think. she seems like someone i could befriend

kaia has been stuck in my head all day, this song called 16, which captures for me, at least, the essence of the age...and not only that...i went for a walk, and all i could do was have it in my head, i was with another boy i like a lot, a good boy, too good, but it's okay, i think i deserve someone so good it's almost painful...sometimes when i'm talking to him, i have to bite my lip from laughing because he's just so...naive. if that is the opposite of jaded. and at least things aren't bad there anymore.

i can't stand being such a girl in some situations...i'm just bored. and i really do wonder what it's like to have someone care about you for who you are or even just for the sake of having a girlfriend...but not to lay you, because that's all anyone ever wants to do...