When I see you sometimes, and I see you actively ignoring me, I wish you would just put a knife into me. I am filled with this immature, childish sense of longing for the love I once felt and losing you leaves this big gaping hole in my consciousness, 2 years thrown away. Your eyes were the first things to ever make me understand. This New Years I resolved to be true and listen to the lessons you had to teach me, indirectly or directly. You taught me I am going to die and I may as well deal with it and you taught me how to bend so far it hurts and you taught me how to say "fuck you" in the most underhanded upsetting breaking way possible. It was impossible to let go of you my beautiful angel. Maybe that's why I still haven't.