I went to see modest mouse tonight. I absolutely adore them, they're one of my favourite bands right now...i didn't have a ticket, though. I sat down and made a little sign and some boys came and sat next to me so i changed my sign from "I need a ticket" to "I need 3 tickets"...and then this boy said he would sell a ticket to one of us but this big scalper came in and got in his face and implied that if he sold the ticket the snot would be beaten from him...they were very nice and then this chinese guy came along and they got tickets...and they were trying to help me get tickets...we stood online and talked indie with a girl and a guy from colorado...and a girl who looked like sooze..... and then they started letting people in...i was so desperate that i bought one at an exhorbitant price from a scalper. the ticket was fake. i didn't get in, and the guys thought i was behind them. there were two very nice girls who were also sold shitty tickets. they were also very upset to be taken. so when i saw more kids buying fake tickets i screamed to them that the tickets were bad..."don't buy them! they're fake!" and the man got very angry and started to follow me and the girls. Shan-ay was one. I forgot the one with pink hair. We went into a supermarket and i gave the girl with pink hair a hat and i put on my sweatshirt and we walked nonchalantly to a coffee shop. the girls were very much fun...and we walked around downtown manhattan...but all i could think was "Don't these men love anything?" and i wanted to go back and ask...and i doubt it would've made a difference to them....but i really love modest mouse. i've been fantasising for days about swaying in a sticky hot venue during the closing parts of Lounge. I've been dreaming of smiling and breathing Teeth Like God's Shoeshine...i've also entertained the off chance of screaming my lungs out if Trailer Trash or Dukes up or Worms Vs. Birds got played....but none of it will come to be. i wonder if these men understand what it's like to really want something...and what it's like to want to cry. i wonder what they would've done if i cried...i can only cry now, and now is too late.