The time has come to
come clean
with all of you

I've never been a person
well described by the word
meticulous
although I may seem to have
a perverse order in which
I ruin things

My year's winding down
and it ain't been a happy one
see, I drink all the time
because my head is a mess

and I can tell this birthday
will not be a happy one
because I know the present I'm getting from you
is a goodbye, but with ill wishes
a split, without the amicable
more of a good riddance
than a good gift

and I'll admit for the first time
out loud
that anyone's arms will do
although I'd rather it be you
sleeping next to me
breathing loudly and deeply
through your pretty mouth

It's been a hell of a year
for cutting all the ties
I held to everyone I used to know
for cutting ties to everyone I do know

and of course I knew
you only loved me
when you were inside of me
but how your eyes half closed
and your tongue lolled to the side
of your smile
and you panted like a dog on a summer day

I could kiss your wrists
and eyelids
until the sunburst blue
of your eyes turns
moonlight gray
but it's not so much you as having
someone who will stay

lie to me
because I can no longer lie to any of you
just speak to me
because I can no longer tell any of you

I just need someone
to hold me through
to the next chapter,
enter the hero
I'm sitting and waiting
to be rescued.