i had a sonogram today. they didn't find anything unusual, or if they did, they didn't tell me. the male in the room kept contorting his face as though there was a problem. i don't think they could detect it.

i like to think i am still okay, but sometimes, i know deep down that my body is fighting something, and it is losing. i wish i could figure out a way to put things at rest inside me.

i think some people thought i was pregnant. the woman who signed me in did. she gave me a disapproving look. i felt sort of shameful. it was sad, to think that i could be pregnant. i couldn't though.