I have a deafeningly loud crush on you
the first boy I ever mistook for someone else
the first boy I ever betrayed
the first boy I ever felt close to

And I confesssed tonight my plan for you
in a crowded dyke bar
with some jew playing covers of top 40 hits
I felt warm and confident
that you would agree
to move in with me

but you smiled sadly at me
and said sadly
that you couldn't leave
your new life
because you'd finally gotten it right

and then I closed the picture book
full of lies to feed me
full of stories that have a happy ending
and went to sleep