how does one go about writing honesty letters? brandon tells me it's impossible. i know exactly what i want to say. many of the things i include might be upsetting or wrong or hurtful, but i just want to be honest, lay my cards on the table and say "this is how it is..."

i have one very important one to write...and one that might be better off just not getting written...because half of it is so horrible a thing to say, so self deprecating that the half that apologizes may not even be worthwhile. both of these letters will make me look like the person i am, weak-willed, capricious, sluttish...i wish there were an easy way to do this....but i think sticking my figurative dick on the line is the only way. if it is, so be it.

You guys, I'm so sorry.