In a bad movie
when a minor character's
temporality
is revealed
you're supposed to feel sorry
for the ones who live
not the one who died.

I'm one who will cry
when that B-plot character dies
because I think "what a waste,
what a shame...
he was so great"

And now the made-for-TV movie
I call my life
has thrown me a predictable twist
the childhood best friend with strange new cancer
dies one night

but last night I couldn't fall asleep
and I've got the taste of hospital
in my throat
and I am crying
and spitting up blood
and it's your fault.

when we were young you had my same haircut
as i do now

I got pictures of us
like Wednesday addams
in the snow

and pictures of when we were older
I'd dress you up
to try and show you
you were beautiful
with slashed red lipstick
and 60s blue eyeshadow
and my sister's clothes

I was a fool
not to trust you
to find your own way to grace

12/30/04