FUCK YOU to the world. I want to cry and kill and fall down, because it's already starting again, my own being is eating me up and I hate all of this solitude but what else am I entitled to?

---- I miss you, I'm sorry I blew you off so many times, if you call me tonight you can see me anytime you want from now on...
--- I miss you, I'm sorry I kissed you, if i'd known the trouble it had caused i still don't think i could've avoided it...
--- I miss you, I'm sorry I made fun of you, I miss my music collection, i need something new.
----- I miss you, I'm sorry I loved you, I'm sorry I cared too much for you to bear, I'll try to send you a postcard now and then.
------ I miss you, I'm sorry I was so blind, and I wanted you to spell out for me what you'd been telling me to do for so very long; I understand and willfully obey, my beautiful one.
------ I miss you, I'm sorry I'm not spunky anymore, I've had it beaten out of me, I have no more opinions, I have no more thoughts, I have no more time to spend.
----- I miss you, I'm sorry we never took X together, I would've enjoyed it, and you would've shared your opium with me which i so desperately need right now
----- I miss you, I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess, I'm sorry I caused so much pain and trouble for you, I miss your wit and your smile.
---- I miss you, I'm sorry, That's ridiculous I barely know you, but i do.

I need someone to tell me everything will be alright.
I need someone to hold me when the day turns to night...
I need someone who loves me
more than you do
now please say that's not true.
(blur, all your life)

I sometimes dream that I have someone
and sometimes I wake up crying because I lose that person in my dream
and sometimes i wake up crying because the dream is over
and reality has set in.

I'm sick of being a 2nd runner up.
I can't even be a whore well.
I wish communes existed.
I wish i could just lay on my back and starve until I froze to death.