You got a job at a community center sort of like GN house...and so did Deena. They were putting on an opera or something and D got us free tickets and so we wanted to see where she worked and we're like, sure we'll come by, it'll be fun. D and Gill were sitting in the seats D had gotten for us, they were on the far left of the auditorium halfway down. I was standing up and I looked down the aisle and I see you there, collecting tickets with her. I realized I should sit down before you see me but it was too late, I was conspicuous with my hair and loud laughter and before I knew it I'd caught your eye. When I looked up, you were standing and the manager (who is some very popular B movie actor) was walking down the aisle and moved towards me. He asked me to see my tickets but I didn't have them because D got us comps. He said that in that case, I'd have to leave. I got all self-riteous.."I am a customer here, blah blah blah, I came to see a production, blah blah blah." And then he told me to leave the premises or I would be prosecuted for stalking. So I saw you cowering behind your stupid ticket box and I shot knives at you with my eyes and before I knew what I was doing, I was walking in power strides down the aisle towards you.

"What the fuck," came out of my mouth. I streamed accusations at you, screaming, working myself up, and she sat there poking you as if to say "Why is she here, why didn't you get rid of her properly?" and I couldn't help but want to put my chunky heel through her fucking average face. And I realized then that your eyes were red from tears and you were looking away.

The words you hurled at me were incomprehensible in retrospect, but I found my own eyes welling with tears because I wanted to love you. And I did love you. I felt regret for everything we kept secret and I was suddenly overcome with rage, to see you sitting with her, manipulating my lingering weakness towards you. I saw the manager talking to Deena, and as loudly as I can muster, I say "YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE DEENA LOSE HER JOB!"

And I woke up in D's bed, between Gill and D, and they were both looking at me and I realized I'd said it out loud, outside of my dream. Fucking scumbag, you're waking me up.