i wonder sometimes if i just want you because it's the right thing to do, or because i'm bored, or because i have nothing else to want. i'm not passionate about much at the moment, not even about you, i'm just distributing my weight evenly and doing whatever to get from night to night...i want to have someone who keeps me entertained, that i can become obsessed with and enjoy like a fine wine or something...but i just can't see that happening, with you or anyone else.

i had wishes, but when i wrote them down, they disappeared, and became stale, outdated fantasies. i had desires but as soon as they became realistic, i gave them up, because they seemed stupid and petty.