TurquoiseGlitter: roar

Halmooky: jtralfazr (8:53:34 PM): you are ugly

Halmooky: jtralfazr (8:55:44 PM): really

jtralfazr (8:55:51 PM): no lie

Halmooky: JERK!

Halmooky: JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK

TurquoiseGlitter: wtf!

TurquoiseGlitter: howd that come up

Halmooky: he just left it at ,my away message

TurquoiseGlitter: well u are a pretty gir;

Halmooky: i dont feel it

TurquoiseGlitter: y not?

Halmooky: i feel stupid

TurquoiseGlitter: how so

Halmooky: cosi am!

TurquoiseGlitter: yr stupid?

Halmooky: ytes

Halmooky: i'm an idiot

TurquoiseGlitter: hah..what words

Halmooky: yes

Halmooky: i'm a big big idiot

Halmooky: i need to take idiot pills

TurquoiseGlitter: betsy!

TurquoiseGlitter: nono pills

TurquoiseGlitter: ;P

Halmooky: lol

Halmooky: idiot pilld

Halmooky: to cure me of idiocy

TurquoiseGlitter: what kinda idiocy do u need to be cured of?

Halmooky: the idiotic variety

TurquoiseGlitter: well

Halmooky: yep

Halmooky: i'm a jerk

Halmooky: i feel like that stupid cliched radiohead song

TurquoiseGlitter: how does it go

Halmooky: "i don't care if it hurts, i want to have control, i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul, want you to notice when i'm not around...you're so fucking special, i wish i were special...but i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am i doing here, i don't belong here..."

TurquoiseGlitter: hm?

Halmooky: song

TurquoiseGlitter: whats wrong

Halmooky: i'm sad

TurquoiseGlitter: why sad?

Halmooky: its not just emotionally my personage, my existance is sad

Halmooky: when i die people are gonna go, thats sad, but not as sad as her fucking life.

TurquoiseGlitter: what sad about yr life?

Halmooky: everything

Halmooky: its pathetic

TurquoiseGlitter: like?

Halmooky: what isn't?

TurquoiseGlitter: whats pathetic?

Halmooky: seriously

Halmooky: what isnt pathetic about it?

TurquoiseGlitter: i dont see what u see.. i dont live yr life

Halmooky: well what isnt? there is nothing that isnt pathetic about it

TurquoiseGlitter: i dont see whats pathetic

Halmooky: how can't you

Halmooky: there is no real success

Halmooky: there is no real helping

Halmooky: i've never done anything important

TurquoiseGlitter: what success would there be

Halmooky: i never will

TurquoiseGlitter: helping is tough

Halmooky: love, music, anything

Halmooky: i can't do anything

TurquoiseGlitter: love isnt necessarily real

TurquoiseGlitter: music yr workin at

Halmooky: i'll never get anywhere

Halmooky: i'm gonna fucking die.

Halmooky: i don't want to

Halmooky: i've not done anything

Halmooky: i feel like my whole life has been a waster

TurquoiseGlitter: you can walk.. you can play guitar.. you can rollarskate.. you are a mintonist

Halmooky: well walking...what an accomplishment

Halmooky: guitar...great except nobody fucking cares

TurquoiseGlitter: some ppl cant

TurquoiseGlitter: no one has to care

Halmooky: rollerskating....all i take is rap for that

TurquoiseGlitter: you have to care

Halmooky: and minton...its shit

Halmooky: i care

Halmooky: but why should i care

Halmooky: music is a means of communication

TurquoiseGlitter: c*mon.. minton!

Halmooky: if nobody hears the message

Halmooky: then you should stop wasting your time

TurquoiseGlitter: you can coreograph mandy moore songs

TurquoiseGlitter: no

Halmooky: i wonder if it would help if i were to announce that i am terminally ill

Halmooky: and do not intend to be treated

TurquoiseGlitter: you have to be happy that yr doin it

TurquoiseGlitter: otherwise its not worth doing

Halmooky: i love it

TurquoiseGlitter: tahts not something to fuck around with

Halmooky: but its fucking discouraging when even your best friend thinks your message is shit.

Halmooky: people always think the dying are profound

TurquoiseGlitter: what exactly is yr message

Halmooky: if everyone was smart they'd realize we're all dying

TurquoiseGlitter: is taht yr message?

Halmooky: no

Halmooky: my message is in my music

Halmooky: which nobody but me seems tolike

TurquoiseGlitter: i do not think yr message is shit

TurquoiseGlitter: at all

TurquoiseGlitter: i appreciate it

Halmooky: had a different tune this afternoon

TurquoiseGlitter: seperate yr music from *the band*

Halmooky: you don't have to worry about me killing myself

TurquoiseGlitter: its really different

Halmooky: i'm dying, remember

Halmooky: is it?

Halmooky: its all there

TurquoiseGlitter: yes

Halmooky: my band is my telephone

Halmooky: the band is the way the music lives

Halmooky: without it its me

TurquoiseGlitter: yr comining yr music with people.. functionality and other poeple's neuroses

TurquoiseGlitter: well it is you

Halmooky: but nobody trusts people alone

TurquoiseGlitter: its yr message

TurquoiseGlitter: not mine

Halmooky: no, but when you come onstage

TurquoiseGlitter: i do

Halmooky: you stand and say "i beleive in this...i endorse this"

TurquoiseGlitter: dont care what they think

Halmooky: they're all i have

Halmooky: the faceless masses

Halmooky: i'm worried

TurquoiseGlitter: sure it would be nice of they all went fucking crazy and loved you to pieces.. but people are not good

TurquoiseGlitter: but thats not it

TurquoiseGlitter: people are generally not good

TurquoiseGlitter: you cant live for them

Halmooky: what should i live for?

Halmooky: there's nothing else

TurquoiseGlitter: if they dont like yr message they can go fuck themselves

TurquoiseGlitter: thats how i feel

Halmooky: i'm upset

Halmooky: i feel like a cliche

Halmooky: i am a fucking cliche, a statistic.

Halmooky: i hate being a statistic

Halmooky: it's a horrible horrible thought

TurquoiseGlitter: and it doesnt make things any happier but it makes you stronger

TurquoiseGlitter: and stronger angerball maybe.. but still stronger

Halmooky: 200,000 a year or something

Halmooky: i'm 1 in 200,000

TurquoiseGlitter: of?

Halmooky: or 1 in 3

Halmooky: with an STF

Halmooky: STD

TurquoiseGlitter: why should u not live ?

Halmooky: because i'm not going to.

Halmooky: i shouldnt complain...cliche..."you do it to yourself, you do..."

TurquoiseGlitter: things could be a lot worse

Halmooky: yea?

TurquoiseGlitter: yes

Halmooky: how so?

TurquoiseGlitter: are you completely miserable?

Halmooky: i'm very upset.

TurquoiseGlitter: so am i

TurquoiseGlitter: and im being punished

Halmooky: for what

TurquoiseGlitter: for being dumb and wasting what i had

Halmooky: how

TurquoiseGlitter: i threw everything away.. i reduced myself to a mess..i caused so much trouble

Halmooky: yea

Halmooky: well its something you had to do

Halmooky: its a product of pride

Halmooky: i think you got the better end of the deal of the two of us

TurquoiseGlitter: no.. thats now

TurquoiseGlitter: how so

Halmooky: it was then too

Halmooky: because you're going to live longer

TurquoiseGlitter: differnt tho

Halmooky: you're not going to be on a fucking ventilator

TurquoiseGlitter: you dont kow

Halmooky: i can feel it.

Halmooky: i was afraid of it.

TurquoiseGlitter: but u dont know

Halmooky: but i can feel it

Halmooky: regardless

TurquoiseGlitter: o believe me i fee; it too

TurquoiseGlitter: you stiill hafta get checked out

Halmooky: anything thats happened inside already from whatever...has happened

Halmooky: i don't think i can

Halmooky: knowing for sure would break me

TurquoiseGlitter: then you can feel sorry for yrself

Halmooky: i dont want to feel sorry for myself

Halmooky: i'm looking at myself and i'm just so fucking pathetic

Halmooky: i don't know how to give my life meaning

TurquoiseGlitter: youll find it

TurquoiseGlitter: its takes a while.. yr still really young

Halmooky: so what

Halmooky: some people never have meaning

TurquoiseGlitter: if yr looking for it youll find it

TurquoiseGlitter: if yr opened to it

Halmooky: its not true

Halmooky: people go through their lives trying to have meaning

Halmooky: but in the end

Halmooky: most people mean nothing at all

Halmooky: the world wouldn't care either way

TurquoiseGlitter: how do u know

Halmooky: because

Halmooky: its true

Halmooky: most people's lives are fucking pointless

TurquoiseGlitter: here we go

TurquoiseGlitter: its not pointless

Halmooky: we start off dewy eyed and "i'm going to be special! i'm going to do something"and by the end we're going "just pull the plug"

Halmooky: it totally is.

TurquoiseGlitter: yr given one shot

Halmooky: and everyone knows it is

Halmooky: but nobody thinks about it because its such a dismal thought

TurquoiseGlitter: and its yr chance to see what you can do

TurquoiseGlitter: tahts the point

TurquoiseGlitter: and if you throw it away.. its yr own fault

Halmooky: us::universe => speck of dust::earth

Halmooky: but whats the point of seeing what you can do

Halmooky: if it all amoutns to nothing inthe end

TurquoiseGlitter: whats nothing?

Halmooky: it has no meaning

Halmooky: we die and we turn to dust

TurquoiseGlitter: why plant sunflowers?

TurquoiseGlitter: bc u want to

Halmooky: and everyone but your family forgets you

Halmooky: because i want SOMETHING to be there

Halmooky: that i have done

Halmooky: when i die

Halmooky: i hope i die in the summer time

Halmooky: so the sunflowers will grow on

TurquoiseGlitter: theyll die first

Halmooky: i'll plant them next year

Halmooky: and the next

Halmooky: so i will have a legacy

TurquoiseGlitter: well then

TurquoiseGlitter: im tired and im going to fail my chem test again

Halmooky: lol does it matter

Halmooky: you'll pass the course

Halmooky: thats all thats important

Halmooky: if its even important

Halmooky: i mean you may as well

TurquoiseGlitter: i cant just pass

Halmooky: simply because you need to prove it to yourself

TurquoiseGlitter: i need a b

TurquoiseGlitter: and im not capable of that.

TurquoiseGlitter: and it makes me angry

Halmooky: its fine

Halmooky: just let it all go

TurquoiseGlitter: its not

Halmooky: i think i'm gonna go to some little school

TurquoiseGlitter: then i fail

Halmooky: and fuck all

Halmooky: you can get a c

Halmooky: or d

Halmooky: thats not failin

TurquoiseGlitter: no i cant

Halmooky: why?

TurquoiseGlitter: bc then this will be a waste

TurquoiseGlitter: and i cant waste

TurquoiseGlitter: i dont wanna feel stupid

TurquoiseGlitter: i*ll cry

Halmooky: if you get a c

TurquoiseGlitter: yes

Halmooky: why do you only put a * in the i'll

TurquoiseGlitter: bc otherwise its ill.. as in sick

Halmooky: well

Halmooky: i'd know

TurquoiseGlitter: or as in thats fuckin ill yo

TurquoiseGlitter: and thats not what i mena

Halmooky: haha

Halmooky: there is i'll

TurquoiseGlitter: hah

Halmooky: or iwill

TurquoiseGlitter: tahts boring

Halmooky: je les aime

Halmooky: ahhh

TurquoiseGlitter: ye