once, when i was younger than i am than today and more aged than i was yesterday, i stabbed myself in the stomach very softly and watched the blood spring out like a leak in a water bed mattress and i laughed at it, the comical aspect of it, and yesterday something new sprung a leak but it was different and didn't tickle and i realzie it was torn up to shreas and now being on so much of it i am swimming back and forth consciousness is like air; i'm mostly surrounded and submerged in a lifeless dream, perception feels false and all that i know is pain in sharp ways in certain movements, better not to move at all better to lie still and drown in this dream of mine.

chromatic chromatic piano notes sour sweet sour sweet sweet sour sweet sour sour sweet...OCTAVE...my goodness i've seen it i've seen nothing but the blackness of the bugs, their clear ripples ripping across my sight and i havecried at their beauty like being hit in the head with a baseball bat, smiling dumbly up at the ceiling that i only can perceive...