December 2010

There was some kind of awful snowstorm and I'm not even sure I'm going to make it. You let me and my dogs into you and your fathers' house.

We talk awkwardly at first it has been so long since I've seen you and I love you so much after all this time. I don't remember if this is before or after you got your new place and we christened it, but I think it's after. You've backslid and neither of us feels sexy. We talk about fucking, we talk with our faces so close together and I fix us woodford reserve on the rocks and I find diabetic pepto bismol in your dad's bathroom and take a picture it's so absurd.

Your brother gave you a screener of Somewhere and we cuddle up to watch it and afterward, I have somehow had more to drink than I thought. We bring the dogs up to your bed and I cry myself to sleep and you are so horrified. I don't sleep well, I keep waking up and then around 4 I wake up and you're gone. I don't know how to lock your house and my windshield wipers are frozen to my windshield and I let the car run for a while and walk the dogs around. Your neighbors give me the stink eye-- it's almost time for work.

That's what I think about when I think about Somewhere.