particularly
as the sun started to break through
the gray horizon of leafless trees
and my tears were subsiding
the alcohol was hidden in the hallway
cigarettes and evening in our mouths

when
did you turn my chin up to kiss me
and tell me that nothing was wrong
while I shook like a newborn in your arms
you�d do to my body what I�d to do your body
yes you loved me so hard
in dawn purple light

we said goodbye
I felt it in the silence
and the sweet presses of hip to hip
lies unlocked and nothing but the sound of morning
and you held me so tight and didn�t let go
until it was time

I loved you
I know why I don�t remember
because it was so far away to forget
a person who was never mine to begin with
whose hips always clicked
whose kiss always made
every morning gorgeous and light
and goodbye
is not something I�m ready
to deal with.