I don't want to get better
but I'm trying to get better
because in everything I do
I'm disappointing you

its like quicksand and I'm sinking
all this talking all this thinking
all this time I can't afford
the love I can't procure

you know it's true
everything I do
is all a way to prove
I'm good enough for you
and I'm a fool
to think of you
as often as I do
but there's no subtitute

I should be trying to get better
should be trying to be less bitter
and I only know these things
because of how you look at me

I know I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick
there's something wrong inside
but I don't want to fight
except your eyes ask me to try

and so I do
but it's no good
I can't change my pod for you
I can't change the way I'm built
all faulty parts
all dried out glue
a heart that fails to be
unless it beats for you

it's never over it just starts back up again
pauses for awhile and resumes its old path in my head
the harder I fight it the deeper I'm sucked in
until the only way out is to give in